5 Messages Of Hope For Bisexual Christians

Bisexual

5 Messages Of Hope For Bisexual Christians

by Angélique Gravely

When I first came out as bisexual, I had no idea how to be both bisexual and Christian at the same time.

I didn’t even know that bisexual Christians existed.

I had a vague notion of how some lesbian and gay Christians had reconciled their sexuality and their faith, but their stories never completely spoke to mine. They couldn’t.

How could a lesbian or gay Christian discuss the decision to come out as bi and open themselves to censure despite being in or pursuing only seemingly straight relationships? How could their stories answer my questions about whether or not being attracted to more than one gender was inherently incompatible with being a Christian?

In the three years since I first came out, I have been exposed to a lot more lesbian and gay Christian stories; but I still find it difficult to discover bisexual Christian ones. While there are many solid generic bisexual resources online and a good number of LG-focused Christian ones, the resources for bisexual Christians are limited.

This means that the concerns that affect bisexuals are often not answered even in affirming Christian communities.

With that in mind, here are five things I wish someone had told me about being a bi Christian when I first came out. These messages of hope are by no means all-inclusive of the concerns I or others in the bi Christian community have had, but they address some of the biggest concerns that consumed me during my first couple of years coming out.

1. Being Bisexual Isn’t A Sin

I wish that someone had told me that being attracted to more than one gender didn’t make me more likely to be a lukewarm “fence-sitter” in my faith, or lust-driven heathen in my relationships. I wish someone had told me that I didn’t have to keep a tight rein on my attractions to girls and non-binary people in order to keep my sexuality pure enough for Christian circles. I wish someone had told me that being bisexual wasn’t inherently more sinful than being straight or gay could ever be.

2. I Can Be A Faithful, Bisexual Christian

I wish someone had told me that regardless of what anybody thought about my sexuality, my calling from God would not be taken away because of my bisexuality. I wish someone had told me that my sexuality did not get in the way of my ability to serve God or be a ministry leader or worship. I wish someone had said that God was not trying to force me to choose a side by having my coming out process take place largely in Christian environments.

3. Bisexuality Is A Gift

I wish someone had told me that allowing my sexuality to change my faith would strengthen not weaken my Christianity. I wish someone had told me that letting the multiplicity of my sexuality color my view of my faith would teach me to appreciate multiplicity within the body of Christ. I wish someone had told me that weaving my bisexuality into my Christianity would give me the courage to fight for room for everyone at the table of God.

4. Christianity Makes Room For Bisexuality

I wish someone had told me that my both/and sexuality has a place in Christianity. I wish someone had reminded me that I serve a God who makes room not only for either/or situations, but also both/and situations—a God who allows us to choose either life or death by offering as sacrifice for us a Son who is both God and man.

5. We Are Not Alone

Mostly, I wish someone had been around to tell me that bi Christians exist—in churches, in communities, in ministry. We are not an anomaly, a problem, or an imaginary creature.

Bisexual Christians exist, and we are loved and used by God every single day.

Photo via flickr user Mary

Comments (75)

Dan Randazzo

i’m also a bisexual christian
i’m also a bisexual christian…and i REALLY appreciate your words. thank you!

EsmeT

Amen! We bisexual Christians
Amen! We bisexual Christians need to be heard, because we are out there, and there are others like us who need to hear us, realise we’re here, and take our support.

Bruce Alan Wilson

Some of the nastiest remarks
Some of the nastiest remarks about bi’s I have ever heard have come from those who self-identify as gay or lesbian. I’m not sure why this is so.

Leslie

It’s because by coming out as
It’s because by coming out as bisexual, you are saying to the gay community that you are also not of them because you can achieve heterosexual privilege and they can’t. It’s not right, but BOOM. There it is. That’s our elephant in the room.

Harrie Farrow

You should read this: http:/
You should read this: http://harriefarrow.blogspot.com/2014/09/the-fallacy-of-bisexual-heteroprivilege.html.

Amber

Thats a great point. I
Thats a great point. I certainly feel a strong distinction between me, a bisexual Christian woman, and lesbian Christians. But unfortunately dont have a commuity to talk to about these things. Thanks for being here guys

Sandra A Rodriguez

It’s true. The thinking is

It’s true. The thinking is similar, but not exactly like, light-skinned African Americans who could pass for white.

blejhewejrhi

We’re like half-dwarves from
We’re like half-dwarves from The Chronicles of Narnia. Dwarves don’t like us,and
neither do humans.

Leslie

Your words bring tremendous
Your words bring tremendous hope. I came out as bisexual when I was in my mid-20s, after my dad had told me he thought that when I was 17 and I flatly denied it. I mean, come on. Dads are not cool (yes they are).

I did not break up with my boyfriend because I did not love him. Other factors at play. However, what I will always remember about that relationship is the way my lesbian friends treated me while I was dating him. It was also really hard watching heterosexual privilege in action. People felt free to say things that they would NEVER have said in a million years if I hadn’t “looked straight.” It was a scary time in my life, being hit from both sides. Your words, in a lot of ways, let me rest. Thank you for the gift.

Philip

Thank you for posting this.
Thank you for posting this. As a gay man much of what you say here makes sense and helps me too. I find a lot of prejudice still exists amongst Christians but you are so right when you say that there is room for everyone at the table of God!

Jenn

Thank you so much for writing
Thank you so much for writing this! One of the most disheartening things about being the “B” in the LGBT movement, and a Christian, is that you don’t wholly fit into either camp. Bi-erasure/bi-phobia is present, even in the LGBT activism movement. Bisexuals are viewed as flaky, promiscuous, needy, confused, wanting attention by many gays and lesbians. In Christian circles, you’re too queer to be properly welcomed into the fold of “true believers” and may even be vilified at every turn for your “sinful lifestyle choice”.

As far as having heterosexual privilege is concerned (just replying to Leslie’s comment), try and remember that when we are in relationships with people of the same sex, hetero-privilege flies right out the window. Also try and remember that if you are a bisexual woman, men think it’s “hot” and automatically assume you will engage in a threesome, and lesbians are terrified you’re just greedy and will ultimately leave them for a man. It definitely shrinks the dating pool and makes for awkward moments. Please remember, we face challenges of our own.

Peter

I agree with Jenn, as a
I agree with Jenn, as a bisexual Christian I don’t fully fit in the Christian culture which is a spiritual anchor in my life but does not accept my sexuality. I also don’t fit in the Gay culture which tells me I’m really gay but want heterosexual advantage. This causes loneliness feel pressured to chose a side.

Zach

People especially “Christian
People especially “Christian’s” are really really mean & crazy! They judge every goddamn thing! I really hope you get the support you deserve! People need to shut the fuck up and be nice & understanding! I believe sexuallity. Can change & is fluid! However tradition’s are not! People are also trained to like one sex. Over the other.

Katie

I, personally, have very
I, personally, have very recently come to the conclusion that I’m Bi, and have been very distraught as I’ve been a very faithful Christian my whole life. This article brought a great deal of comfort to me, and I wanted to thank you for that.

Thank you for your comments.
Thank you for your comments. They are helping me. I’m getting older and am just coming to terms with my sexuality and reconciling it with being Christian.

Katie

I feel the same. I recently
I feel the same. I recently as well have realized I am bisexual and am just trying to cope with all these overwhelming feelings

Graham

Thanks this is encouraging. I
Thanks this is encouraging. I am a christian bisexual in ministry who has only just started to come to terms with my sexualitiy.

Steph

This gives me hope. I’ve only
This gives me hope. I’ve only started coming to terms with my sexuality and felt like I’ve had no allies. And the gay /lesbian Christian community does not help. Thank you for your words .

Emma

Thank you so so so so so very
Thank you so so so so so very much for this. I haven’t come out yet but I’m certain that I’m bisexual. I’m not sure how, but I’ll find a way to come out. #2 was very inspiring for me. God bless you and thank you again

Zach

People are very very mean

People are very very mean,crazy & controlling in this world! However it is my wish that this will end & we can finally be nice & judgment free to eachother! Maybe a gay bar than a bar than you’re friends. Would be a good order to come out. Good luck!

John

I’m a bisexual Christian man
I’m a bisexual Christian man (in later years) who is struggling having recently married a very lovely and very conservative straight woman. I thought that marriage would ‘cure’ me of my bisexuality, but it hasn’t … surprise surprise! Initially I was convinced that it was God who brought us together. I still think that’s true, but I’m tempted to doubt it, although I don’t want to. I guess I’m in a bit of a fix!

We talk about LGBT issues quite a lot but always just end up just agreeing to disagree. Her arguments are always mixed up and illogical, and they don’t hold water, but she can’t see that. She simply believes what others have told her. As things stand it will take a miracle for my wife to see that the whole LGBTQ thing is not some kind of massive perversion. I very much value your prayers for that miracle to take place!

Joel

I came out 8 days ago–to one
I came out 8 days ago–to one trusted friend–after almost 40 years of knowing and secretly, very discretly did what bisexuals do.

I’ve been sobbing of and on today knowing that being in integrity means that I no longer get to lie. I’ve lied to cover lies buried so far back into my past and into my psyche that practically nothing remains of myself that is real in any social context.

I am a Christ-lover and a Christ-follower.
I am a panamorous bisexual male who loves, is attracted to, and enters into loving, intimate relationships with human beings who are being whoever they are all across the human sexual spectrum.
I am unconfused and unconflicted with regard to my faith and practice.
I know I will not go to Hell after this short life has ended.

This–Right Now–is the very first time I’ve ever honestly talked about my faith and my sexuality
I have NEVER talked to anyone in any context about my sexuality and my faith.
My sexuality is not sinful; it is a gift which allows me the ability to extend my compassion to ALL.

I wish I had a community.
I hope someone reads this and somehow feels some modicum of relief from the constant stresses inherent in being who we are.

Peace,
~~Joel~~

Marie rose

I have just converted to
I have just converted to Christianity and I thought no one would take my new faith seriously because im bi. After reading this I now have the courage to follow my Christian path x

Kristen

I became a Christian today
I became a Christian today thanks to my cousin (may she forever dance with her dad and God in Heaven). But part of me wondered, “will He not accept me because of my bisexuality?” I’ve been reading different articles where people say that it is a sin to love the same sex, and in order to be accepted by Him, you have to give up those tendencies, but this article made me understand that I will be accepted by Christ no matter what my sexuality is.

Lostsoul

Hi I am a 20 yr old male I
Hi I am a 20 yr old male I grew up Lutheran my whole life went through Lutheran schools engaged to this beautiful woman and she is bi and proud of it rather than me who hides it she wants me to open up to her but
My whole life I’ve felt different I went through puberty early before all my friends and I was never ashamed of showing what I had off but I love who I am but I also liked both sides more so women than men but I’ve old done a few thing with the same sex because I know what God says about it it’s wrong it’s a sin that a marriage should be between male and female only and that’s why I’m struggling with this so much I always told my self that this is something I will never let out I’ve tried to commit suicid because I don’t want my god to hate me to forsake me cuz I get excited with the same sex and with the opposite sex so how do I know our God doesn’t forsake me that I am normal to think this way that it isn’t the world making me that dice I was a kid always liked everyone if they are good looking they are good looking that I’m not a fagget like I’ve been called I don’t know how to open up when my whole life everyone telling that God damns the gays how can I be okay with God damning me is he how can I be okay with who I am and open up to my fiancée when I have struggled my whole like with it ?

Sue

I hope you see this.
I hope you see this.
I am so sorry for the turmoil you have been held under, and I am going to begin praying for you from this point on that you can find peace. I am a missionary alongside my husband of 3 years, and am coming to terms with the fact that I am bi. It is hard for me to realize how much of my identity struggles have stemmed from my sexuality, and I mourn with you. I. Sorry that you have been given such a destructive view of God, and I just want you to know how much he loves you and longs to draw you close. He is the great shepherd who looks after his sheep, and his design is to carry you, not to bring you harm. Jesus of mercy and understanding. Yes we are fallen humans, but we are also redeemed by His everlasting kindness. Hold tight to your fiancé – and let her hold you fast.
Again, you are not alone. God bless you with His presence today, my friend.

Victoria

This is so incredibly
This is so incredibly encouraging! Before now I’ve felt very alone in this, believing that my sexuality and my being a Christian were two things that could never be reconciled. I felt I had to choose. Thank you for showing me otherwise. 🙂

Jordan

I think this is a great
I think this is a great article. I am also bisexual, and Christian. But I believe the word. I also believe God knows who we are before we do, and that his will must be done. I was molested as a child, and ever since then I have had an attraction to men. In the past years all I have sexually been involved with are guys but still very much love women. I do like both sexes but have never dated much on either side. I don’t think I’d marry a guy, more so because I do want children and family. But I also want a wife who gets what I’ve gone through and accepts me. At the end of the day bisexuality is and has always been real. Many great Christians and Christian leaders have been and are bisexual and married to not let it out. Which is why many of them cheat and sneak around during marriage. That’s not what I want but I want to make it to heaven and THAT’s all I know!

Katherine

Hi Jordan. You can also have
Hi Jordan. You can also have a loving marriage and children in a same sex marriage as well. You may fall in love with a man, then what? You deny a future with him for the “goal” of traditional procreation? I am bisexual and hope to find love and marriage with the right person( no matter their gender). For a long time I left Christianity behind because of my sexuality and family members using religion as a tool against me, but their arguments I later learned held no weight.

Kelsea

As a teenage bisexual
As a teenage bisexual Christian I really needed this article. I had no idea that there were so many others like me. I’m concerned that God will hate me or that I’ll be condemned to hell. It doesn’t help my family and society tells me that almost daily. I’ve drifted apart from God because I feel like I’m letting him down because of who I am. Thank you for writing this article.

Uriel

Thank you for these words! I
Thank you for these words! I haven’t come out yet since I was saved because I didn’t think I was ready. Now, i’m happy to announce that I’m bi and a devout Disciple of Jesus

Thank you so much for this!
Thank you so much for this! I recently as a 36 year old female Christian, had this epiphany about my own complex gender/sexual identity. And it actually was an experience where I felt God was the one leading me to see this clearly and admit to myself/not reject myself. It was so freeing! And a loving, tender moment of truth filled with compassion with no judgement from God. I too believe there is such a place for us to serve the larger Body, to make spaces for people on the margins of all types, to help bring a living example of complexities, paradox, mysteries of both/and in life and faith. Amen, thank you for this.

Selena

This brings me such peace of
This brings me such peace of mind… I unintentionally came out to my conservative Catholic mother yesterday, and as expected, she was not willing to see past her intolerance for same-sex love. I tried to be patient and explain my feelings, but her response was that she was nauseated by my honesty. It deeply saddens me that her disgust doesn’t alarm her. Although my sexuality is no one else’s business but mine, she can’t help feeling involved or at fault. She even confidently said that if my father were to find out, he would stop supporting me financially for college…

Nevertheless, this is a beautifully worded article and I am so happy I came across it during this painful time. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts. He has blessed you with the ability to touch hearts in invaluable ways…

Hidden

I’m struggling with possibly
I’m struggling with possibly being bisexual and being a very faithful person… Im young, and figuring out my whole identity and that includes my sexuaity.. So thank you.

Ray

As a younger person I just
As a younger person I just realized I was Bi not to long ago and I really wanted to stay a Christan , I soon talked to a church member about the topic (( And while she did say she didn’t agree with it , she did tell me that God will love me no matter what and as long as I know that he is the true king that’s all that matters to her so thumbs up to her !)) I pretty much thought that there was NO ONE like me until this post , it really made me happy to see this .

xXXTeagan

I’m bisexual, and I have been
I’m bisexual, and I have been scared recently.. I’m Christian.. I mean.. people keep saying that God will send homosexuals/etc to hell, and I.. im scared.. I want to be straight because im afraid that God will see me as a burden and send me to hell..

Xavier Johnson

Thx u for the help I needed
Thx u for the help I needed this

Allie

I’m a closeted bi-Christian
I’m a closeted bi-Christian in a monogamous hetero marriage (my husband know & is totally cool). Our church would be fine with it, but we homeschool & most of our activities are through a group that’s Christian & quite conservative. I’m afraid of being kicked out. So I stay in the closet for the sake of our kids.

Jen

This is so much like me!
This is so much like me!

I have known I was bi for several years-really since high school but wouldn’t admit it to myself until about 5 years ago. I have been married for nearly 9. We homeschool, and our current church is split about 50/50 on the LGBT affirming issues, and isn’t an affirming church intentionally.

We homeschool, and most of our Christian peer group is very pro strait only marriage.

I have started to let some closer friends know.. and am much more open at work, but I wish I had that sense of safety in my faith life.

Amy

I am also in this position..

I am also in this position…have been married 22 years to a wonderful man who totally supports me in my bisexuality…have 7 children, homeschool…my christian faith is totally a huge part of who i am, however my faith community would not agree and have only come out to select people…repressed those desires for 16 years while having kids (pregnancy hormones made that easier) but now that all my normal hormones are back in place, it is there once again and stronger than it ever was…have a girlfriend (ironically, my first girl love) who I recconnectd with and she is understanding of my situation. I feel so blessed to love 2 people so much and that they both love and accept each other. However, i feel the tug all the time from my Christian faith that what i am doing is wrong and will eventually place me in hell despite how much i want to be a follower of jesus…the few people i have come out to about this are definitely trying to steer me back to a straight lifestyle and i hate that being with my girl has to be in secret which just adds to the shame…haven’t come out to my kids but will as they get older and are mature enough to handle the topic.

Kevin

Hi. I am a bisexual and I’m
Hi. I am a bisexual and I’m always asking for forgiveness .. My fear is the fear of hell… I beat myself up all the time over this issue and was tought that it was a sin. I love god and believe in Jesus..

Rowan

My boyfriend is a bisexual
My boyfriend is a bisexual Christian, I am a bisexual Pagan. This really sparked my interest because of that, he still has his faith and his love for God and also for me and his current boyfriend (we are both poly), and I love him so much. We know that God loves us no matter what, if he hated non-straight people then why bother creating us? It’s so silly and pointless to hate on love. <3

Brianna Brown

I’m in 8th grade and recently
I’m in 8th grade and recently discovered that I’m bi. I’m really thankful for this because I know my church isn’t lgbt friendly and and was worried that because I’m bi I couldnt continue being christian. Thank you for letting me know I’m not sin, and anyone that says that is hateful and ignorant. God made me this way, and I won’t deny who I am, even for family. Of course I won’t come out out my family until I can take care of myself, they might kick me out. But still, thank you, so much.

Emily Soza

Thank you so much for your
Thank you so much for your words they have given me much strength and i am grateful to
God for making people like us unique, beautiful, and unashamed. I love Jesus so much He has saved me from so much like all of us and to learn that i am bisexual has given me much freedom and conflict but after reading your words i am grateful for who God has made me to be and i would’t change me if i could or anyone else like me. I am sending my love to everyone may God be rich in you

No one is perfect, but we
No one is perfect, but we must strive to be. You cannot accept sin and believe you are walking purely before The Lord Jesus Christ. The bible says if any man be in Christ he is a new creature. You have to ‘put away’ all impurities. God accepts us how we are when come to him broken and realize we have sinned and fallen short of his glory. You are being lead astray by allowing yourselves to believe that you can serve God and mammon (sin). You cannot, ask the Lord to make you pure and holy, dont accept your sin. Repent of them.

ray russell

do you think bicurious or
do you think bicurious or bisexual can be going on with someboby of the same gender and still follow god and join a church .

Ray Russell

do people believe that
do people believe that two bicurious men can live together without sex but with commitment

Thank you for writing this. I
Thank you for writing this. I came out as bi to my significant other not too long ago and I am struggling with it. This gives me hope that I can come out to my parents one day and feel accepted and safe.

Josh

God isn’t against lgbt, there
God isn’t against lgbt, there are several good perches out there and Christian organisations about this. I’ve heard that in the Bible it says there is a boy gold and other and that there are some people that feel this way. I know that it shouldn’t be a problem with other Christians because God accepts and loves everyone no matter what. I think it’s in Mark in the Bible that it says “love your nabour as youraelf” and that should go for all christians. Thanks your post really helped me. 🙂

Daelyn

This helped a lot.Thank you.
This helped a lot.Thank you.

Tilda Davis

I think some people forget
I think some people forget that the Lord’s love is completely BOUNDLESS. He works things in this world that we can never unxerstand and among them is love. He puts love in our lives, it’s only ever a gift from God. And nothing, EVER can take you out of His hands.

anonymousme

I need advice. I recently
I need advice. I recently read a note my 12 year old wrote saying she is bisexual. I was in complete shock. She has always been super boy crazy but also tends to idolize people/girls and has always become obsessed with things easily (actors, animals, topics, etc). Slightly OCD I think. Anyway, In the note, I was relieved to see she wrote, ” I will live for God. I choose boys, I will get married and have kids. I will never tell anyone.” So now don’t know what to do. I want to talk about it to her, but I don’t want to embarrass her. I don’t want her to label herself that way just because she might find girls attractive/get excited when they pay attention to her. We all do that. I’ve tried discussing it generically to her and she seems to understand that. Do I talk to her? I wish I never read that note and just waited for her to someday bring it up. What do I do? I love her and want her to feel comfortable talking to me

I think I’m bisexual. I’ve
I think I’m bisexual. I’ve been in the closet for at least a year, but I’ve been ignoring it and pushing it back, but it’s hit me so hard recently. I’m a Christian and faith is my top priority and I’m worried that my church (that I am highly involved in) will reject me. I’m only a freshman in highschool too, and my entire church future could potentially be ruined if this is something that I decide it’s time to come out of hiding with. I’m so scared, but the more I thinking about it, the more I realize how much I fit this label. I’m just so scared.

chloe

i am a bi christian i am only
i am a bi christian i am only yung but i need to understand everything thank you so much for your words it has helped me alot i am going out with a girl right now but i diont know if its the right thing that i shoud have done i dont know what to do anymore i am more attracted to women then men and i dont know if its a sin to be bi.

Anonymous 2

To anonymous:my son just came
To anonymous:my son just came out to me last night as bisexual. I was thinking for a while that he might have
Been gay but it was a still a bit of a shock. It certainly cleared up a lot of questions I had! He loves Jesus and is very involved in church worship. He’s quite a prayer warrior, anointing people with holy oil and seeing true miracles happen through Jesus. Most of the music I hear him singing are beautiful worship song, even when he is alone is our music room and no one can hear. He has such a heart of love and compassion for everyone. I know Jesus has used him to love so many lost people and help some of them to bring open to church and meeting Him. This is new ground for an older person like myself, but I do feel God’s peace in this. I can’t share with his father– not sure how that would go– but I love, cherish and adore this beautiful human who is my son. I will pray for you, anonymous, and ask for open doors for conversations with your daughter and guidances from the Lord to handle this new turn to your parenting journey.my son said her will totally marry a girl, as he wants a traditional family and children with his wife ( his words). I expressed worry that he would not find a girl who would accept that he was attracted to both sexes, but he said that bisexuality is very common among both guys and girls in his friend group. These are really great college kids who love Jesus. I also expressed concern: would his girlfriend worry that he would leave her for a guy? He said why is that different than if i would leave her for another girl? I guess he is right. My son is truly one of the most amazing people you would ever meet. I will move forward, comforted by this knowledge and love/support him with God’s guidance. I hope you find comfort in knowing you are not alone. We serve a mighty Saviour who provides comfort and guidance for all the things we face in our lives! Also thank you for whoever started this post. You have brought comfort to my heart. God bless all who wrote on this site.

Anonymous 2

Im bisexual and cant seem to

Im bisexual and cant seem to find any others in my area that are discrete. My story is diffrent i was born with both vagina and penis had surgery at like 9or10 i am now just male with a scare and a tiny vagina by my anus. I have all the desires a woman does toward males but my male dominate gets me all confused. I dont get an erections over men but I get so wet yes from there and I leak pre like no stopping it. Im concerned that ill never find a male to share my sexuality with. That will understand my current status in life. Please pray for me

Rachelle Clark

I am a bisexual christian but
I am a bisexual christian but my parents don’t support it and the say I am committing a sin and they said they will disown me.

Tiffany Smith

Help. Torn.

Help! I dont understand the article and am very torn between being a christian and bisexual.

Mackenzie

I only just found out that I

I only just found out that I was bisexual and was so scared that it was a sin and god would be disappointed in me. I have had doubts that it was actually a sin to be bisexual because that’s like saying loving someone is a sin. So I prayed that he would help me to know if it was ok to be bisexual and wasn’t a sin, to give me a sign. I found this immediately and it helped me so much. Thank you!!

Maria

Hi, i’m a 17 year old female

Hi, i’m a 17 year old female and i’m bisexual. Although I am not christiam, i’m catholic. I’ve been researching for quite a while wondering if I will be punished for being this way. I’m scared of what’s going to happen when I come out and what people will say. I’m scared that my parents will disown me and they will say that i’ll be going to hell. I’ve always followed my religious rules and then I started seeing girls differently, i’ve been desperate to the point that I prayed to god to make me normal. I don’t know what to do anymore i’m afraid of what everyone will say and i’m afraid of going to hell. I usually don’t make comments on websites but i’m just really tired of hearing that people like me will go to hell and I just need a little support.

Dakota Crain

Bisexual

So my grandma is a strict Christian and I got so mad that I actually came out that im bisexual in frount of her and she was like, “THATS A SIN! YPU WILL GO TO HELL” and she talked Jesus and said “God if she ever thinks of Bi, gay, lesbian, ect, she will fall on her face. I’m scared of ever coming out to anyone…my mom didn’t judge me when i did that same night…idk what to do..

Emma

Sooo I dont know whether this

Sooo I dont know whether this is the right place for this but I have been trying to look all over the internet and I cant find somewhere. I am a Christian in my early twenties, and I have been questionning my sexuality for years. I have never been in a relationship with either sex, and I cant really figure out how I know who I am attracted to. Like I have had crushes on guys, but I have also experienced similar “obsessions” with girls that I have kind of always explained as admiration or looking up to them. But I dont know if it is. I so often will think to myself that a girl is attractive both in personality and looks, and then start wanting to spend time with her or for her to notice me. Basically, my question is, how do you know if you are lesbian/bi? When I look around there is only secular pages which I feel like is all about “well have you kissed a girl? Have you experimented? Do you want to sleep with girls?” and as a christian I have chosen to not have sex until I am married, so thats not really helping. I am looking for a place to explore my sexuality and also wrestle with the theology without having to physically experiment, if that makes sense. Sorry for the rant, as I said I dont really know where to go with this, and it has bugged me for years.

Tori

I honestly think it all boils

I honestly think it all boils down to how you feel when you are with the same sex and how you feel with the opposite sex. Many times people believe that just because we admire or think the same sex is cute or attractive, it automatically assumes us to be gay/lesbian. That is not the case. It’s how you personally feel inside about the other person.

I will ill say that until you’ve been on a date with each of the same sex, that’s when you’ll know. Best of luck to you!!!

A-Chan

I grew up in a midwestern

I grew up in a midwestern Lutheran church, and was told in confirmation class by the nicest lady in the church (God bless her) that “I’m sorry, you’re going to hell for being bisexual.” I didn’t deal with it for 12 years, at least, and it’s destroyed my life. I feel so terrible, constantly praying for forgiveness, then torn between there being “no male and female in Christ”, then the fact that apparently, “gays go to hell.” It’s absolutely terrifying. Somedays, I just forget about it; others, like today, when there’s a beautiful new female Doctor Who with a wonderful personality, I feel terrible and like a piece of crap.

I’ve left the Lutheran church and since converted to Anglicanism (Although they don’t seem much more accepting of it, TBH.) It’s so terrible. I’ve only ever told 3 people I’m bi. When I told my mom, she was terribly afraid for me, said men would never want to date me since I’d “leave them for women” and that women would never want to date me because I’d “leave them for men.” She said she could “always tell I liked girls”, which made me even more upset that I couldn’t “hide the bi.”

I’m distraught trying to work through this- I only wish I had started 12 years earlier when I realised one day that I was bi.

God bless all of you. I can only hope the situation changes for us soon!

Thom

Bisexuality

I can completely resonate with your experience. Being a bisexual male in a predominantly conservative chrisitian house hold is really, really, difficult. Difficult not because they are are conservative so much, but because they (my mother, siblings) are not open to any type of discussion on matters relating to sex or morality.

So I have no one to talk to. I opened up to a best friend about it (first and last time I told any of my close friends) and she…ridiculed me about it, in her own covert way. Now i’m left to deal with this on my own at 25 years old. I don’t have anyone to confide in and its becoming very stressful. I just don’t know how to handle this.

Leslie Gonzalez

I love God but i fell in love

I love God but i fell in love with a girl at my school. But people don’t fall in love gender, they fall in love with the person. I’m only fifteen. My mom is a homophobic, and if I tell her, I’m scared to see what will happen since she is really strict about Christianity. I don’t have anything against it, but I’m worried.

VArtChrist

I’m friends with bisexual,

I’m friends with bisexual, and I’m straight Christan. When he told me it was his deepest secret, we’ve been friends for over 5 or 4 years.He said he didn’t want to lose

He said he didn’t want to lose me, because he lost some friends over Bi-Sexual. I reply to him, that I’m his friend, and I will stay by him, no matter what he is. Heck. I don’t care even if he’s gay or not. And I don’t care if my parents don’t want me to be friends with him anymore.

He’s a good guy, he said “Thanks, I’m glad I told you.” That was over two years ago. And we’re stilled friends till this day.

He’s still Bisexual, but he’s also Christian, my best friend to hang with. Glad I’ve found this site.

I hope one day, we can stop judging the world, based on the color of our skin, our relgion, our social class, our weight/height, our appearances, our background, our dark past, or our gender. That’s the world I wanna grow up with.

Trinity

I’m 13 and im bi but most of

I’m 13 and im bi but most of my friends and family are shraight Christians and I am a christian but for the last few months I was told that i couldn’t be because im bi. this really helped me.

Mel

I have lived my life thinking

I have lived my life thinking i’d be punished and go to hell because of my bisexuallity. And because i learned that it isnt a sin, i can finally embrace it and live my life the way i want to. Thank you.

Mel

I have lived my life thinking

One dude

Hell is real and that scares mine guts

I am bisexual to but i sustain myself of being with a same sex(not even the other before marriage) and that is hard. I don’t even masturbate.

I believe and i am 100% sure that if we don’t repent our homosexuality, we will go into deepest pits of hell.

I know that demonic entities exist and there is hell, real as we are.

It’s eternal and we must hold that wish and pray. That is hard way and our cross to bear.

We will not inheret Paradise with lust. Wake up brothers and sisters in Christ.

Joline Brown

I am liking this female very

I am liking this female very much, but Im just not sure how to tell my parents and how God would feel about me being bi. Can someone please tell me how to do this?

Lost child

Bisexuality

I am a bisexual christian struggling to find a way to cow. Out can any one help

Lee

I kissed my first girl when I

I kissed my first girl when I was in first grade and dated boys when I got older. I thought I was Bisexual.I wondered and pondered a lot, then realized that I love people for who they are inside. I love a person for their heart and soul, not their gender. My mom has always been ok with who her children are so I am blessed that way. My son, now grown, has always known as well and is cool with how his mom is. I know God doe snot make mistakes. We are not a mistake. We were created by ove with love in the image of love. What is hard is living in the Bible belt and being completely true to yourself. I will be moving soon to an area where I can be completely free to be myself. Thank you for your postings. I bookmarked your blog so I can return <3

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